Time heals all pain, even tradition. My reflection on the holiday season.
Tradition is a prerequisite for nothing but pain as it takes us away from the joy of the present moment. It bears angst, anger, resentment as it is what the generations have wanted but not the individual. This lack of freedom is classically marked during the holidays: indulgent foods, loud rituals, and positive social attitude based on repeated blessings is common in every corner of the world, every culture, every religious tradition. These actions are the opposite of genuine. They are instead repeated, scheduled, methodical. They are so deeply ingrained in societal structures that participating in them is the default.
This was a first year of my adult life spending the holidays with my family. For years I was always away, in either the mountains or on vacation, aware of festivities but separate from them. This year I decided I was strong enough to be amid it all while staying true to my lack of fundamental beliefs.
I did not decorate the tree, I did not eat holiday foods which contained harmful fats, empty carbs, or any sugars. I did not consume substances that would alter my state of mind. My wellness routine stayed consistent.This holiday season I took a pause from reading and talking to like-minded people to talk to the people whom my independence impacts the most-my parents, who are due to age are loosing their freedom. While we have not reached a symbiotic level of thinking on the matter, I now have a better understanding that their demands arose out of fear, and they learned to set boundaries regarding what support they give me so they don’t feel like there are expectations which are not being met.
In the end, I learned that tradition continues because it brings comfort in this chaotic world. To me comfort is death so I lean into chaos and enjoy every moment in the present, confidently knowing that history molds, changes, and eventually phases away tradition as humanity always moves towards greater freedom.
